


Cherry Blossom Blood Stains

by bi_ceratops



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Korra & Mako Friendship, Lin Beifong is basically Mako's mother, M/M, Mako & Asami Sato Friendship, Mild Gore, Minor Korra/Asami Sato, Oblivious Mako, Sakura (Cherry Blossoms)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_ceratops/pseuds/bi_ceratops
Summary: Mako had never been very good at deciding what he wanted. Bolin had once joked to him that he wouldn’t be able to choose someone to go out with if his life depended on it. Mako, being his usual self, grumbled something along the line of “Well it’s a good thing that’s never going to happen.”How wrong he had been.Mako began to cough up cherry blossom petals, delicate pink and soft, the opposite of the brash personality Mako was known for. It would take him quick, probably, and the worst thing was he didn't even know who he was supposed to be in love with. Unless he stopped to think about it, think about what was really in front of him. Everybody knew Mako didn't think.---A Wuko hanahaki AU.
Relationships: Mako/Prince Wu (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 105





	1. One petal too many

Mako had never been very good at deciding what he wanted. Bolin had once joked to him that he wouldn’t be able to choose someone to go out with if his life depended on it. Mako, being his usual self, grumbled something along the line of “Well it’s a good thing that’s never going to happen.”

How wrong he had been.

It hadn’t started with a coughing fit in the middle of the night, or a dramatic keeling over. It had barely even been noticeable: Mako and Wu were sitting in Little Ba Sing Se, Mako telling Wu some story about Korra that he’d begged to hear as he slurped his smoothie. Wu was listening with his whole face, eyes sparkling in the sunlight, laughing along to the jokes that weren’t that good and at Mako’s various misfortunes in the pro bending arena. Mako said something stupid, likely something about how Korra laughed at him one time when he fell over. Wu threw his head back in a giggle, almost tipping out his chair, the sun reflecting on his gold jacket. “Oh Mako, that’s hilarious. That Korra seems like a great dame.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “You should introduce us one day.”

Something tickled the back of Mako’s throat and his moderately pleasant mood was shattered. He coughed and something slithered up his throat and stuck to his tongue, wafer thin and tasteless. Wu was still giggling to himself and Mako took the opportunity to peel whatever it was off of his tongue. It was a cherry blossom petal, small, inconsequential. Mako must have accidentally swallowed it at some point whilst he and Wu were hanging around Little Ba Sing Se.

As an ex detective he really should have realised not only was it the wrong season for cherry blossom flowers, there were none in Little Ba Sing Se.

Things hadn’t gone really wrong until a few weeks later. Mako had been watching Wu bumble around, trying to talk to various officials. President Raiko had been announcing something and he and Mako had gone to announce Wu’s coronation in the same event as Asami had been unveiling the new rail system she’d implemented. Mako had been proud of her and would have been giddy to see his friend again if he ever got giddy - that was a Wu thing. Speaking of Wu, he had been thrust into the spotlight yet again and was exuding obnoxiousness. Not that he wasn’t obnoxious, arrogant and irritating when he and Mako were alone, but there was something softer and more delicate about him when he wasn’t having to act up as the heir to the throne. Once, he’d seen Mako gazing wistfully at a Future Industries logo and patted him on the back, saying “Cheer up buddy, I’m sure you’ll get to see Asami again soon. Maybe you can set us up?” So the execution was kind of misguided but the thought was there. 

Thinking about it, Mako had spluttered up a cherry blossom petal at that too.

Mako snapped out of his daze, suddenly picking up on where Wu was. He was talking to Asami, hair slicked back, crisp gold and green coat pressed to perfection (Mako would know, he’d been roped into doing it himself). Asami did not look at all pleased, uttering something about sending Wu on a train far away.

“That's ... that's funny. I like funny dames. Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Prince Wu, future king.”

Mako’s throat was suddenly dry at the horrible introduction and he battled the urge to cough. Asami answered and then Wu was back on his bullshit, hand on his hip, eyebrow raised. Mako began to head over. “...Can I show you a low-key night out with a superhuman soon-to-be king?”  
“Prince Wu! President Raiko has some, uh-” Mako bent over and coughed and spluttered into his hand, something rising from the depths of his throat and escaping into his palm, whatever it was half wet and soggy, half delicate and dry. Mako enclosed his hand until he could deposit whatever it was in a tissue or the bin. Both Asami and Wu were looking at him with equally raised eyebrows and concern. “-some really important king stuff to talk to you about.”

Wu sighed and expressed his displeasure, swaggering over to Raiko with a wink and a pass of a silk handkerchief to Mako. “For your… phlegm. I don’t need it back.”

Mako blushed and crammed whatever was in his hand into the handkerchief. Asami was watching half in amusement, half in irritation. “He’s a real charmer, huh?” Mako suggested.

“He’s… something. How can you stand being his bodyguard?”

“Well I just remind myself that once he’s back on the throne I go back to being a detective.”

The tickle at the back of Mako’s throat was back.

“And that works?” Asami asked.

“I also go home, and smash my head into the wall for an hour, you know, just to get the stress out.” Asami laughed at that, her green eyes sparkling in the summer sun and suddenly Mako was bent over again, hacking something up into the hanky. As it was leaving his mouth he took a quick look into the fabric. There was a handful of small singular pink petals, soft and pastel coloured. Some of them had been flattened and wet coming out his mouth but others were dry and still had their shape, nestled on top of each other in a pile.

Mako’s mouth went dry. He closed his fist, crushing the petals, and looked up to Asami. Her head was tilted. She put a hand onto the shoulder of Mako’s starchy bodyguard uniform. “Mako, are you okay? You look scared.”

Mako was in the throws of flight or fight. His limbs locked up as dread started to weigh down his shoulders and feet, and he was suddenly hyper aware of Asami’s eyes being drawn to the handkerchief. “It’s lovely to see you Asami! I think Korra’s meant to be coming in soon. Haven't heard from Bolin. Lovely to see you! Bye!” Mako dragged his foot up and sprinted over to Wu, Beifong and Tenzin. Asami stood in the middle of the street, stunned. “Beifong. I need the afternoon off. I don’t… I don’t feel well.”

Beifong looked extremely displeased (or more so than usual) at first, but she took one look at Mako and shook her head. His face could only be described as the embodiment of sheer terror. “I suppose I can watch the Prince until we go to meet Korra this evening at the docks. You can meet us there and then supervise Wu for the rest of the evening. Don’t make a habit out of this, Mako.” And then quietly “look after yourself.” 

Mako thought he might have heard himself say thank you and then he rushed off, briefly meeting Wu’s eye contact. The Prince mouthed ‘you okay?’, brow furrowed in concern. Mako grimaced and gave a halfhearted thumbs up before getting on the first taxi he could find to the library.  
He’d heard about the condition before, in old wives tales and whispered hushes. It was rare yet infamous, and Mako’s symptoms suggested he had it. It’s not like there were any other rational(ish) explanations for coughing up plants in the middle of a city which had none of said plants but the scared part of Mako told him that he needed to research this, double check, make sure that this was happening to him. To be completely honest he already knew.

Hanahaki, it was called. The coughing up of flowers caused by unrequited love. They would grow in the victim’s lungs and chest and would be coughed up, petal by petal, until they died. Sometimes it would be slow and laborious, a descent into sickness until the victim started to cough up flowers with the correct number of petals, or it would be quick. A matter of weeks to a matter of years. It was either that or somehow discover who you were in love with and get them to fall in love with you too or get a surgery that removed any feelings you had for said person. 

Mako was screwed either way. 

He definitely had it. There was no donut, no equivocation. He’d checked out five books and they all said the same thing: there’s no similar disease. If you coughed up flowers you were cursed with Hanahaki and that was it. 

The issue came from Mako’s indecisiveness. Women had fought over him before and Mako had always struggled to figure out who he really liked, who he loved, what he wanted. This indecisiveness had grown to threaten his life, as the problem that arose was that Mako had no idea who he was in love with.

The person he spent the most time with was Wu, his boss/friend/… whatever. The woman he spent the most time with was Beifong, but that was one hundred percent off the table. She was basically his mother, not that either of them would admit it out loud. The next two people that sprang to mind were Korra and Asami, their messy history as a love triangle maybe not as behind them as Mako had once believed. Which was strange, because Mako was sure that he didn’t feel romantically for either of them anymore, but Wu had been talking about or to them when Mako had had his attacks. Logic dictated that the common denominator was people hitting on his ex girlfriends, and thus they were the people he was supposedly in love with.

Supposedly.

\---

Mako’s health had not improved from the day that he’d finally figured out he had Hanahaki, and neither had the political situation of the Earth Kingdom. As Mako began to cough out a greater number of petals Korra had gone missing and Kuvira had stolen the Earth Kingdom throne from Wu. This was both good and bad. Kuvira taking the throne meant that Mako was now fighting with Bolin about morality and leadership and Wu was especially cranky and depressed. On the other hand Mako now couldn’t go to Ba Sing Se with him, which again was both good and bad because whilst he wasn’t stuck in a mostly foreign land and a life of luxury with Wu he could not escape Asami and the potentially life threatening disease he now had. 

Wu had begun to notice. Mako had expected the King to be a walking lump of sadness after his throne was taken by Kuvira. Instead he’d thrown himself into being as obnoxious as possible whenever they were out in public and extra clingy when they were alone. Wu had no more public meltdowns after the issue on the throne in Little Ba Sing Se but Mako would notice how when the King thought his bodyguard wasn’t looking tears would roll down his cheek and the sleeve of his coat would be wet with tears. Everytime this would happen Mako would splutter some cherry blossom petals into a handkerchief (he never left home without one now, and for strange sentimental reasons he’d kept the one Wu had given him despite it inadvertently being a death warrant). One afternoon Mako had coughed again and Wu stopped his crying and poked his head round the corner of the suite of the hotel. “You okay, tough guy? You haven’t been sounding so tough lately.”

“Yeah I’m fine.” He snapped a little too quickly, hiding the hanky behind his back. 

Wu rolled his eyes. “I know that now is an… unstable period in history and I understand that I’m not the easiest person to be around, so I completely understand if you want to take some time off. I apologise profusely for how much work I’ve been recently. I… I spent my whole life being told by a horrible lady that I was going to be a terrible King but never actually got any training on how to be a good one, so I decided it was best if I just did what others said and leave it to them, but at least I’d be King and people would have to like me and then- well it didn’t happen. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. What I mean to say is that, if you wanted some time off I’d completely understand.” Wu gave a sweet, understanding smile, his face devoid of any Kingly arrogance. He put a hand on Mako’s shoulder and it felt nicer than it should have done to have Wu show more than material concern for Mako. Mako’s throat began to burn. 

A guard thundered on the door of the hotel room. Mako jerked his shoulder away and jumped up to the door, forcing his mouth shut and the cough down. He didn’t open his mouth to greet the guard however rude it seemed. “Sir, word for you from Chief Beifong. Avatar Korra has resurfaced in Zaofu and has fought Kuvira. Word has it she’s on her way to Republic City now.”

Mako nodded. He shut the door. Wu cheered. “Go Korra!” 

Mako ran to the sink and spewed up a lump of cherry blossom petals. This time each petal was joined to another one.

The second Mako got off work that day he sprinted to Asami’s mansion. His family was there and he greeted them briefly, answering questions about his job and Bolin as quickly as possible before rushing to Asami’s workshop. “Asami!” He threw open the door. Asami was hunched over the desk, working on a series of blueprints. “Did you hear? Korra?”

“Yes!” She cheered, standing up and throwing her arms around Mako. “She’s due to get in in a few days but I think she’s going to be caught up with Tenzin and political issues for about a day. Do you want to organise a lunch or something, just the three of us?” 

“Sure.” Mako smiled. “Kwong’s cuisine? I can actually try to reserve a table now I have kingly sway… even if that King has no power.”

Asami laughed. “Can we make sure Wu doesn’t come? As much as I’d like to see him flirt with Korra I- Mako?!” Mako had doubled over and was passionately coughing flowers into the handkerchief. Asami quickly leant forward and patted Mako on the back until he was done. “Mako, what is up with you? You’ve been coughing non stop recently.”

“I’m fine.” He stuffed the handkerchief in his pocket. “It’s nothing, just a cold.”

Asami’s face was disappointed. “It doesn’t look like a cold. You’d tell me if there was something seriously wrong, right?” 

“Oh, yeah.” He grimaced, trying his hardest to avoid looking at her face. Instead his eyes glanced to his pocket, the slip not unnoticed by Asami. “So, uh, how’s work?”

“What’s in the handkerchief? Mako.” Said Asami, glaring. “And don’t give me some rubbish. If you lie to me I’ll know, and I’ll go downstairs and tell dear old Grandma Mako that you’re resigning from being Wu’s bodyguard. She’ll kill you.”

Mako resisted the urge to say ‘well I’m dying anyway’ but instead went with “Asami. You evil genius.”

“I get it from my father. Now what’s in the pocket?”

Mako sheepishly fished the handkerchief out of his pocket and unfurled it. Inside the little pairs of pink petals lay, luminous against the deep forest green of the handkerchief. Asami’s face morphed from surprise to shock to sadness. “Oh.” Mako hung his head. “How long?”

“About a month.”

“Who knows?”

“Me and you.” 

Asami shook her head. “Who?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. I was thinking maybe Korra, or-” 

“Or me?” Asami sighed. She looked morose. “Don’t take this the wrong way but how don’t you know?”

“I didn’t think I had any romantic feelings for either of you anymore and it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed, but suddenly Wu’s hitting on you two and I’m coughing up flower petals left right and centre. It’s been so long since I’ve really seen you two and let's be honest, I’ve never been the most in touch with my feelings.” He pulled out a chair and slumped down, avoiding Asami’s piercing green eyes. His throat stung a bit and he felt some petals leap into the back of his throat. He swallowed them down. 

“If it is me, which I’m hoping it’s not- I feel like I should be honest with you. There’s no chance of me reciprocating feelings. I’m in love with someone else.”

“Oh.” Mako echoed Asami’s earlier reaction. “That’s… good for you. Really.”  
“I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay. It’s probably not you.” 

“I’m sorry.” Asami took Mako’s hands. “I’m going to do something, and hopefully it will clear your mind. Don’t freak out.”

“When have you ever known me to freak out?” 

Asami looked unimpressed. Then, she grabbed his face, moved in, and kissed him. Mako kissed back almost out of habit but it felt like he was kissing a brick wall. Nothing stirred inside him, none of that fiery passion that had spurned him to make a slew of bad romantic choices back in those early years of being in Team Avatar. Asami pulled back, and if Mako had to make a guess on what her facial expression was it was guilt. “Sorry. I figured it might help you figure thighs out. Or confuse you. Sorry.” 

“Honestly? It felt like kissing a cushion.”

“Oh thank spirits.” Asami panted. “So it’s not me, then?” 

“It’s not you.”

Asami cheered and threw her arms around Mako before pulling back. “Wait, does that mean?” Her face fell. At the reveal that Asami was not the person Mako was supposedly in love with, he had been possessed by a sheen of light relief. Now Mako had been struck over the head with heavy dread. “Does that mean you’re in love with Korra?” Asami was glaring at the floor.

“I guess so.”


	2. Soft light on a Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako's condition gets worse.

Korra arrived in Republic City on a sunny Wednesday, and greeted Mako on a bright Thursday. Mako had spent the morning coughing up petals in what he believed was nervous anticipation, the issues only increasing by the sudden bombshell from Lin that he had to take Wu along with him. Wu, of course, had been ecstatic. “I’m going to meet Avatar Korra?! Oh my gosh Mako we have to go shopping for new jackets. I’ve got to look my best.” Mako bit back some more petals. 

“We don’t have time.” He sighed. “Can you not kick up a fuss, please? This is going to be awkward enough as it is.”

“Are you not looking forward to seeing her?” Wu wondered. 

“I am!” Mako snapped. “She’s my best friend. Apart from Asami. And Bolin. But that’s not the point. Of course I want to see her. Everything’s just complicated and I could really do with knowing you’re on your best behaviour and we’re not going to start some international incident whilst we’re out.”

“Oh of course.” Wu nodded. “Kingly promise.” He stuck his hand out to Mako and his bodyguard shook it firmly. Wu grinned and went back to polishing a pair of his cufflinks. “So is this about your health then?” He spoke out of nowhere, spooking Mako.

“What? No. No. Why would you say that?”

“Why would I say that?” Wu chuckled. “I know I’m not the most observant or smart, but I’m not that clueless. You’ve got skinnier, you’re coughing a lot, and if I would have to make a wager I would say that you’re finding it harder to run around lately.”

“I’m fine.” Mako snapped. “It’s no big deal. I’m just tired.”

Wu tilted his head. “If you need to go on a lovely little holiday in the Earth Kingdom, paid for by yours truly, I’m not stopping you. Of course I’d much prefer to have my big guy hanging around but obviously your health should come first.”

Mako scowled. “I said I’m fine.”

A flash of pain struck Wu across the face, driving a knife of guilt in Mako’s stomach. Beneath all the faff and pompousness Wu cared about Mako, and not just as some bodyguard who stopped him getting out of trouble. Mako admired that. It was also really annoying. He swallowed a mouthful of petals.

The rest of the trip to the restaurant took place in relative peace, Mako stewing from the backseat of the black satomobile as Wu chatted the ear off of the driver. He boiled his bad mood down to the upcoming meeting with the person who might be inadvertently killing him, and not because he had nearly been rumbled by Wu and the King had been so nice about it.

They reached Kwong’s about ten minutes early. Wu tried his hardest to prize conversation from Mako but he only gave answers sparingly - the odd “Yes,” or “Okay,” or “Sure,” as he gazed intermittently at the door. 

“Mako. I’ve been stabbed.”

“That’s nice.”

“I’ve grown a second head.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m in love with you?”

“What?!” Mako snapped his head round. His throat was full of petals. “What?!”

“Hahaha.” Wu laughed. “So now you listen. I was wondering how many times I’d have to tell you ridiculous things before you listened.”

“Yeah.” Mako shook his head. “Ridiculous.”  
Wu glanced at the cup of water that sat on the table. “Yeah. Ridiculous. Did you hear what the waiter said? Asami’s just turned up.”

Mako lifted his head up and looked to the edge of the booth where the screens were. He stood up and walked over, shooting a brief smile at Wu that he hoped toed the line between ‘behave’ and ‘thank you’. Wu winked at him and Mako sighed, rounding the side of the booth and walking directly into Korra. “Korra!” He exclaimed, face breaking out into a grin before subsiding into shock.

Korra didn’t look bad, but she looked different. She was thinner and lankier, all of those strong muscles that connoted attitude gone. Her hair was shorter and chopped haphazardly and she had dark circles under her eyes. Instead of bounding over to him she still moved enthusiastically but there was a weight on her shoulders and a tiredness in her eyes. She threw her arms around Mako and she felt soft and light but also tensed and tough. “You look different.” Mako whispered.

“So do you.” 

Mako was aware that his disease had taken a toll on him, but he wasn’t aware it was visible. Mako couldn’t see it but he had been getting a tad thinner, more sallow, and the under eye bags he wore rivalled the ones that Kora had, and even rivalled the ones he had when he was a child and was living on the streets. “Are you okay?” Korra asked.

“Yeah.” Mako shrugged. “You?”

Korra smiled. That smile had stirred a lot of feelings in Mako a few years ago. It was pretty and sweet, but now it just felt like unease, from both her hesitation and Mako’s worry about his hanahaki. Whatever he was feeling for Korra it didn’t feel like it used to. 

They released each other from the hug and sat down to eat. Mako refrained from coughing up petals and, save for one misguided comment about the avatar state, Wu was on his best behaviour. He refined from hitting on either Asami or Korra and for a while it felt like old times. This lasted about five minutes but it was fun before everything went wrong. Turns out that Korra had written to Asami whilst she was away, which didn’t hurt- honestly. Really honestly. Sort of honestly. Then an argument had sparked, which to be honest was not that different from old times either, but it was uncomfortable and Wu had scampered off to the toilet like a scared child (or Bolin when he got caught in the middle of the love triangle drama) and then was promptly kidnapped.

Mako, Korra and Asami had sprang into action like old times, rushing after whoever it was who tried to kidnap the king. There would be a certain irony in Mako spending his first real bonding experience with Korra tracking down a kidnapping and now he was doing that too but with the added extra of his love for her killing him, but he was more distracted by the way Korra and Asami worked like a well oiled machine and looked at each other like they used to look at him, and the burning rage that was surging within him when he thought about Wu being dragged off by some thugs. It was like a surge of adrenaline that drove him to push himself to the limit and on the roof of a train with Wu stood behind him and Asami and Korra to the side, despite the way his lungs were burning and speed wise he couldn’t keep up with the women. He’d fought a terrorist group and the literal spirit of chaos but Mako was struggling to catch his breath and his arms ached every time he shot a flame. Mako felt like that scared kid who had had to get into running quickly to survive on the streets, out of practice from his comfortable lifestyle with his parents.

Korra had cocked an eyebrow at one point at him. Mako shrugged and mouthed ‘out of practice’. He knew better. He knew that the spindly little branches growing in his throat and lungs were fucking with his respatory system and was pushing it to the brink. 

Still, Mako couldn’t stop to rest. Not when Wu was behind him, face frozen in fear and making dumb little scared comments under his breath. He ducked and shot fire and shouted as much as his lungs would allow. He was Wu’s bodyguard; he was Wu’s friend.

Something shifted under Mako’s foot. The roof of the train was being bent back by a metal bender. Mako slipped and began to slide sideways off of the roof. There was a split second of his feet finally losing grip and his stomach dropping as he lost balance and began to fall. Then he was solid and Wu was gripping Mako’s wrist like it was the most important object in the world, more important than any stupid royal broach or Little Ba Sing Se smoothie. His face was dead set on Mako, his irresponsibility gone and replaced with bravery and care and for a slight moment Mako thought (as his throat filled up with flower petals) maybe, just maybe Wu could be-

Wu’s face erupted into fear and the slack Mako had felt was gone and they were tumbling off of the top of the train and off of the bridge and down towards the aquamarine lake below them. In the back of his mind Mako heard Korra shout “Jump!” to Asami and they were being enveloped in a cool sphere of air. They plummeted to the floor and bounced along the dusty floor before being released by Korra’s air ball. 

Mako found he was clutching Wu to his chest, the King’s head tucked into his neck and his hands pressed against Mako’s heart. He was grinning, exhilarated, his hair fluffed up from the wind and relief in his eyes. Mako softened for a second, a swell of relief building up.

It was replaced with a wave of nausea. 

Mako pushed Wu off and coughed, coughed so hard he was throwing his body into it and it felt like his stomach was being dragged out from his body. It was like he was being possessed. He collapsed onto his hands and knees and hurled a flood of cherry blossoms, three petals joined together. Mako hurled and expelled the flowers, sputtering until his diaphragm was sore and his arms were weak and shaking. His throat felt like it had been sliced a thin scalpel but it was the spindly little cherry blossom twigs. He finally stopped, face burning. 

It was the worst attack he’d had so far. It scared him shitless.

Pale, slender fingers were handing Mako a water bottle. He’d seen it clasped to Asami’s belt earlier but he hadn’t even thought about why she would have it. Then again, Asami knew better than anyone that Mako didn’t take care of himself. The water soothed his throat a little and washed down the taste of the flower petals. It did nothing to quell his shame.

He looked up at his friends. They were watching in stunned silence. Asami looked disconsolate and hopeless, pity building in the back of her eyes. Korra was aghast. Wu looked like he was teetering on the edge of melancholy and rage, his mouth hanging open and his brows set in a straight, firm line. Any exhilaration and thankfulness was obliterated. “Mako…” He whimpered. His voice was quiet but it was hard. Tears were beginning to fall. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I thought you were my friend.”

Mako didn’t know what to say.

Wu turned on his heel, folded his arms, and stormed off. That hurt more than any plant growing in his lungs.

Asami tilted her head at Mako in a moment of clear understanding and followed the King, leaving Mako alone on the shore of the lake with Korra. She looked lost, unclear on what the correct response was. She settled on “I can’t believe he made that about himself.”

Mako chuckled and wiped his mouth. It wasn’t a happy chuckle, more dejected. “He has a point. I’ve had this for months and I’ve been lying about it. He knows I’ve been lying about it now, he has every right to be angry. He deserves to be angry.” He hung his head. “He just got kidnapped. He’s allowed to throw a tantrum.”

Korra sat down on the sand and put an arm around Mako. “What happened to us?”

“Life.” He grumbled. 

Korra sighed. “I’m sorry. About this morning, the disease, for being a horrible friend.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve had a terrible time, got over near death and paralysis and you don’t need my bitching. You’ve been through hell and back, I don’t blame you for being pissed and I certainly don’t blame you for needing some space from me. I’m not likeable like Bolin or Asami. Or kind.”

“You’re not.” Korra shrugged. “But you’re loyal and you’re honest. I need you just as much as them. You’re not allowed to die. I’m sorry, really.”

“It’s not your fault I have-” Mako gestured to the pile of cherry blossoms. “-that.”

“It’s not?”

Mako paused. He thought thinking about what he was about to say was going to be so hard it hurt, but it actually rolled off of his tongue with barely a second’s hesitation. “No. I thought it was you or Asami, and I definitely love you, but not like that.”

“Are you sure? You’ve never been the most certain about your feelings.”

Mako shrugged. “I know. But I am on this.” He didn’t really know how to describe it. Korra was a force of nature, a tidal wave. Three years ago that tidal wave would have bulldozed him and left him soaking wet, enamoured with her. Now it just passed right through him.

“Oh thank you, spirits. Don’t take this the wrong way but you are definitely not the person I’m in love with.” Korra heaved. Something suddenly clicked for Mako, the familiarity between both Korra and Asami’s reactions. “Wait. So who is it then?”

“That I haven’t quite figured out yet.” 

Korra squeezed his hands. They were still shaking. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Thank you.” He cracked a smile. “Oh and Korra? Asami definitely likes you back.”

“How did you know?”

“I’ve dated you both. If I didn’t know it would be a crime.”

\---

Mako arrived at Republic City Police Headquarters an hour later. Wu had been taken home by Asami and Korra and was likely sulking the entire way there. He’d barely looked at Mako when they rendezvoused at the train station, his face an unreadable mess of something Mako couldn’t put his finger on. He was a detective, but the betrayal on Wu’s face shook fear into him more than nearly anything.

It still wasn’t quite as much fear as he felt standing outside Beifong’s office, ready to get fired. In the span of one day he’d lost the King of the Earth Nation, upset said King, argued with the Avatar and got busted for having a life threatening disease and not telling his superior. To put it nicely, he was royally screwed. Or normally screwed, because the only royalty he knew hated him. 

Beifong swung the door open. Her face held its usual stern expression and she didn’t say a word, just stepped out of the way of the door and invited him in before letting it shut behind him. She walked over to the desk, pulled something out of the draw, and slid it across the desk. He thought it would be some official resignation papers but it was a little green flier. ‘Hanahaki removal surgery’ was printed in cursive along the top.

“Asami told me about your situation.” Lin spoke, measured. She wasn’t meeting his eyes. “I don’t know how much you’ve thought about your options. But someone needs to go through them with you.”

Mako was struck speechless. “Honestly? I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be in love with. I hadn’t even thought about what I might do to solve my issue. I guess surgery?”

Lin sighed and sat on the edge of the desk. “As someone who’s been where you are, it’s worth thinking about everything.” 

“Been where I am?”

“Back when I was just a bit older than you I was dating Tenzin. And one day I woke up and I was vomiting up lily petals like nobody's business. I didn’t want to believe it - Tenzin and I had been going strong, or so I thought. And then it turned out Pema was also coughing up lilies at just an alarming rate, not because Tenzin didn’t love her like the situation I was in, but because she thought he loved me. And I was too stubborn to let him go, and I was killing the both of us. I’ve done lots of things in my life, but that was by far the worst. And then Pema confessed, Tenzin dumped me, and I was suddenly healed. I was moments away from death, really, but I got the surgery. The lilies were gone and suddenly I felt nothing, nothing at all for Tenzin. But I remembered what it felt like to feel, and I felt like a part of me was gone. It’s like this big, absent hole in your life, a gaping rift. It’s like some of your soul is missing. And look at Pema: she’s got four kids, she’s happy, radiant, and I’m- Well I’m alone.”

Lin stared at her feet dejectedly. 

“What I’m saying, or what I’m trying to say is… It can seem easy to take the surgery, the easy option, cut that person out of your life because it’s easy. You feel like nobody will care if you leave them too, even if they love you or not, but that’s not true. A part of you will be gone, they’ll miss you. You’ll always be reminded of what could have been.” She frustratedly wiped her eyes and suddenly loomed over Mako. “If you figure out who’s causing this Mako, and there’s even the slimmest chance that they can love you back? You have to muscle up and try confessing. Because some hurt or awkward feelings are so much better than no feelings at all. You want to turn out like Pema. Not like me. Do you understand, Mako?”

Mako nodded dumbly. For the first time he was struck with how serious his disease was, and the repercussions. It was terrifying.

“I said, do you understand?!”

Mako rushed forward and threw his arms around Beifong and sobbed into her tough metal armour. His body was wracked with tears as he went limp, losing all of his stability as he collapsed onto his chief and let all of the emotion flood out of him, all of the stress and melodrama of his life finally leaving. If he thought about it it was the first time had cried since the night his parents died.

He cried so hard his throat hurt and it felt like he was going to vomit. His hands gripped Lin so tight his knuckles were white and there was a pressure building behind his eyes. It hurt. Lin held her arms around him and let him sob. “It’s going to be okay.”

They both knew it was not, but it was nice of her to say.

\---

Mako spent the rest of the next few weeks in relative isolation from Wu. The King was staying with his family in Asami’s mansion. Mako popped in occasionally to see his Grandma and had passed Wu in the hallway once or twice but he had stayed grumpy and sour, ducking into Mako’s cousin’s room to learn boxing. Mako’s condition had also not gotten any worse (it was still bad) but for whatever reason Mako’s separation from Wu and his urge to flirt with everyone on sight (apart from Mako, which was strangely insulting) was doing him some good, healthwise. Emotionally he felt the same painful way he had when Asami had found out he’d kissed Korra.

It was all going well until the day Kuvira attacked. 

Bolin was back (yay) Varrick was also back (eh) Kuvira had a giant mecha suit which he was about to go and fight (uh oh) and Wu had stupidly decided to stay and help his citizens evacuate unlike escaping like any sensible monarch who wanted his ruling line to continue would. It was a stupid, brave move. It felt sort of strange to be heading into certain doom without Wu’s incessant babbling in his ear. They’d been a team for years. The issues between them felt like a festering wound.

They were about to split off into groups when Mako pulled Wu aside. “Look, I’m sorry about not telling you. You’re my friend. And I miss you. And I’m sorry.”

Wu’s lip trembled. He pouted. He then jumped on Mako, wrapping his arms around him like an octopus. “Oh good! I’m sorry I was really bratty, big guy! Couldn’t go and evacuate a city without patching things up with my strong man!” Wu detached himself and spoke in a quiet voice. “Oh and Mako, about your hanahaki. I hope things pan out. Whoever it is will be lucky to have you.”

Someone was yelling Wu’s name and he spun round, giving whoever it was a thumbs up and saying a quick, hushed goodbye. Mako didn’t really hear it, he was holding back a mouthful of flowers. Things were slowly moving into place in the back of his mind, but they never quite clicked into place. Not, at least, until he was blasting lightning into the heart of Kuvira’s suit.

There was a high chance of death in his current situation, bending lightning into a deadly and highly volatile weapon he didn’t quite understand. He looked into the beam and thought, thought about Korra, who was facing all the odds to battle Kuvira and save Republic City. Thought about Asami, who had just lost her dad after getting him back again. Thought about Bolin, who was dragging two of Kuvira’s guards to safety because his heart was just that big. 

He thought about Wu, who was escorting citizens of a nation that wasn’t even his out of the city. Wu, who was putting himself in harm's way despite being scared. Wu, who hid a big, caring and surprisingly sensible heart under a thick, aloof shell. Wu, who had been kind and understanding to Mako despite Mako being the worst to him. Wu, who flirted with everyone and made Mako cough up cherry blossom petals every time he did. Wu, with the gemstone green eyes. Wu, who was like soft light on a Sunday morning. 

Wu, who could never love him back because of course he wouldn’t - Mako was a poor guard who pushed everyone away and Wu was a noble king who was too caring for his own good and 

Oh.

Oh.

Several things happened in quick succession.

Kuvira’s weapon finally broke. Energy surged. Mako’s lightning was thrown back at him. It raced up his arm. Mako vomited up a clump of the pinkest, bloodiest, four petalled cherry blossom flowers he’d ever seen. Mako was flung back. The lightning reached his heart. Bolin poked his head out of a trapdoor and instantly saw the cherry blossoms that fell like red snow amongst the chaos. He made eye contact with Mako.

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mako: *criticises Wu on his dumb, brave choices as a monarch*  
> The reverse Wuko fic sitting in my google docs where Mako makes equally questionable decisions: *sweats*


	3. We’ll be okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hospital is a tumultuous experience for everybody involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this was originally only supposed to be a 3 chapter fic but the way this turned out I think it flows better with 4, even if the next one might be a bit short. 
> 
> Apologies for the cliff-hanger. Happy Valentines day?

For the first time in his life Mako awoke to a hospital room. He’d always avoided them when he was younger, the bills being too high as was the risk of getting reported to the authorities by some well meaning nurse.

Not for the first time in his life Mako woke with a fuming Bolin staring at him. When some people got hurt others would cry, or hug, or panic. 

When Mako got hurt Bolin got angry. 

“Hey, bro.” The older brother said. His throat felt like it was being dragged up and down a cheesegrater.

Mako pushed himself up into a seated position. A flare of pain rushed through his arm and jolted his heart. Mako glanced down. One of his arms, the one he’d shot lightning through, was completely messed up. It was a scorched red and when he tried to move it it flopped against his side. If he had to properly guess he’d fucked up the muscles or the nerves in his arms when the lightning had beamed back at him.

Bolin pouted. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“About the arm?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

The memories of the day before barreled into Mako like Kuvira’s bullet train. Reconciling with Wu, the attack on Republic City, climbing into the mecha suit, figuring out his feelings, getting hit by the lightning recoil, coughing up the flowers, passing out. He had faint memories of being dragged from the wreckage by Bolin and passing out again at Korra’s feet, spewing up a clump of flowers drenched in blood. Even the memory felt humiliating.

“We were busy, I didn’t think it was that big a deal.”

“You almost died!? That’s important!”

“Well there was a good chance I was going to die anyway.” Mako shrugged and coughed up a few flowers. Each cough jolted his chest and created a sharp stab.

Bolin ignored the snide comment and shook his head. “I know I haven’t been around much and working for a fascist and a king kind of put a rift between us but you should’ve said. I didn’t get nearly enough of an opportunity to mock you for this.” Bolin had thrown Mako a rope or a get out of jail free card. Mako took it greedily.

“I’m truly sorry. Forgive me?”

Bolin ummed and ahhed before nodding and chucking his arms around Mako in his signature Bolin hug that was comforting beyond belief, if a little too tight. Bolin pulled back and asked that one question, the one anybody who knew had been asking him for weeks. “So who is it then? I’m sure I can persuade them to fall in love with you. You’d be surprised what a good incentive big rocks and lava are.”

Mako sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m unjust going to get the surgery and get this over with.” Now Mako had figured out who he was in love with there was no point risking near death. Wu was never going to love him back. He was sweet, a tad pushy, but kind and a king. He also flirted with every female that moved. Mako was a guard who had an abysmal record with relationships and an attitude that made Amon look agreeable. Anyway, he needed to be in Republic City to look after Bolin and do his job. It would be best for both him and Wu if they were left to their own devices and binary opposite lives. 

Someone tutted from the corner of the room. Mako hadn’t even noticed that Beifong was lingering in the corner, arms folded, eyes rolled. He could feel the disappointment wafting off her, but instead she huffed at him. “It’s your choice, kid. I’m glad you’re awake. I’m going to get the doctor.”

Lin stalked off, leaving Mako alone with Bolin. His eyebrows were slanted and concerned, but they soon leapt into their usual enthusiasm as he launched into an excited spiel like nothing had happened. “So, I was thinking of becoming a cop? We could be partners? Wouldn’t that be cool? Beifong doesn’t seem convinced…”

\---

The grim reaper in the form of King Wu arrived in Mako’s hospital room early that evening. He swept inside like he owned the place (Mako was fairly certain Varrick did) “Mako! Mako! Guess what? I finally got to meet some badgermoles!”

“Great.” Mako spluttered. He wanted to be enthusiastic but he couldn’t. The smile he tried to crack hurt. 

“Oh it was great!” Wu crooned, instantly launching into the story, told it three times over and sang the songs much more loudly than he needed to. Mako usually would have rolled his eyes or blocked his ears but now he just watched on, chuckling as Wu retold his story. When he mentioned how he took control of the badgermoles and destroyed the mech suits, something swelled within Mako. Pride?

He spat out a bloody glob of flowers.

Wu furrowed his brows and it was cute. It didn’t make Mako feel any better. “How is that, big guy? I never fully apologised for creating such a huff about it.” He glared at the floor. “It was selfish of me, you’re dying… I’m sorry. I give you an official, royal apology. I’ll get someone to make me a certificate.”

Wu sounded like he would be joking but his voice was flat and honest. By this point Mako was fairly certain he could feel the twigs sprouting inside him, pressing into his lungs and his throat like a tiny little metal spear. For a second he almost felt bad that when the operation was done he wouldn’t feel a swell of pride at Wu’s newfound humility or the flash of despair he felt at Wu looking dejected and guilty. He’d just discovered a treasure chest of colourful new feelings that brightened up Wu, both his memories of him and how he saw the Prince now, shining. Like the sun.

Then the grey detective side of him, the side that was the colour of the streets he’d grown up on, the streets that had beaten pessimism into him and called it ‘life’, booby trapped those feelings and reminded him that in a few months Wu would be going to Ba Sing Se and Mako would be a mere footnote in his life. 

“It’s okay, Wu. No certificate needed. I’m just going to get the surgery and be done with everything.”

Wu gave him that same look, tinged with disappointment, that Lin had given him. “If that’s what you want. You should try and confess, though. Anybody would be lucky to have you.”

You wouldn’t.

“Thanks.” Mako lied. “Now tell me again what you sang to the badgermoles?”

Maybe the pain caused by Wu’s dreadful singing would eclipse the pain he caused in Mako’s chest.

\---

The meeting with the doctor was awkward. He’d strolled around with his clipboard of various forms for Mako to sign and had run through the procedure. It seemed relatively simple: Mako would get put under, the doctor would get the disease out, he’d have to spend another few months in the hospital recovering, but that would be it.

Except Lin said that would never be it. There would always be something missing.

There was also another issue. In order for the surgery to succeed properly the disease would have to be at its absolute worst. Mako would have to be coughing up bloody, five petaled, fully formed cherry blossom flowers. It probably wouldn’t be a big deal because Mako was spending all his time in the hospital anyway so all he’d have to do was call the doctor. Simple.

Mako spent all of his time in the hospital at this point. He could walk to the bathroom and do other things but he couldn’t do them for any real length of time before retiring to bed. So now there was a painful sort of waiting for the disease to get worse and nearly kill him so he could get rid of it. But all of this waiting consisted of sitting in bed and coughing up blood and flowers. 

Bolin had tried to drag his older brother out of the hospital for an evening to go to Varrick and Zhu Li’s wedding as it was apparently the ‘wedding of the century’ and everyone would be there, like some fun ‘woo, you nearly died defeating a giant mech suit’ party. Thankfully, the Doctor had told Mako that he couldn’t leave the hospital under any circumstances, in case something changed. He was quite happy with that situation because the only thing he could think of that was worse than withering away from Hanahaki disease was sitting through a party celebrating the guy who had got him thrown in jail. Mako did like Zhu Li so he sent Bolin with a half hearted card and a direct apology to her saying sorry he couldn’t be there.

He had expected to spend the evening alone with a book, but Korra and Asami turned up in adventuring gear, hands clasped and smiling sweetly at each other. His first thought was ‘huh, so they finally confessed’ and then something yanked at his insides, hard. Confessing was the last thing he was going to do. As well as this Asami and Korra looked utterly entranced with each other, sneaking sideways glances filled with sunshine at each other like they couldn’t believe what was happening. With a heavy heart Mako realised he and Wu would never share that puppy love, not as long as he got the surgery. He reminded himself that that was fine, it was for the best, but part of him still longed.

“Hey Mako.” Korra smiled, perching herself on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like there’s a massive plant growing in my chest.” He chuckled. Neither of the women found his morbid humour particularly funny. “Sorry. I’m okay. Obviously I’m not doing amazingly, but I’ve felt worse. I guess I’m a bit better than last week.”

“That’s good.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Mako coughed into the quiet and the pair eyed him and the extensive hospital gear guiltily, and then each other. Mako raised an eyebrow and looked at their gear. “Those aren’t the usual wedding clothes. You two going somewhere?”

“We were thinking of going on an impromptu vacation to the spirit world.” Explained Asami. She looked shamefully at Mako. “But we’re not sure. We should stay around, just in case something bad happens. We should be here for you - you’ve always tried to be around for us, even when we didn’t want you to.”

The Firebender shrugged. The words cut him deep but not necessarily in a bad way. It was nice to know they cared enough to put off their vacation, but he was supposed to be the one who made the compromises for his friends and family, not the other way around. “I’ll be fine, honestly. It’s just a matter of time until the disease is worse enough for it to be removed and then all this will be over. The Doctor is very proficient.”

Asami and Korra shared another one of those aggravatingly sweet and concerned looks. “Are you sure? Because we’re happy to wait.”

“No, it’s no big deal.”

Korra’s face fell into mild anger. “Mako, you can’t just pretend that this is a common cold! This is a big deal! You’re denying yourself a shot at true happiness because you’re not willing to talk to whoever’s causing this, and for what? You need to stop putting your life on hold for others sake! You sacrificed your childhood to protect you and Bolin! You jeopardized your relationship with Asami because you were nervous about me! You got thrown in jail because you were trying to protect Asami and Bolin from Varrick! You’ve repeatedly ran into the firing line to help me, against terrorists and mecha suits and the literal embodiment of darkness! You nearly died! You need to stop thinking about what’s easiest for everyone else and just try confessing - we’ll be okay!”

Mako was stunned. She’d hit the nail on the head, really. But that didn’t mean he was going to stop being stubborn. “Enjoy your vacation. You two deserve it.”

Korra sighed. Asami looked just as dejected. “At least tell me you’ve figured out who you’ll be losing feelings for forever.”

“I have.” Said Mako. It was easier not to say who it was. If he said it, it became real and Mako would have to face that every day leaving his feelings for Wu in the dark was seeming more and more daunting of a task. “You guys don’t have to worry, honestly. He’s never going to love me back, and this is the best way. This is the way I want. Go on your vacation.” The words tasted poisonous, like a lie. 

Korra and Asami nodded, each kissing Mako on the forehead before leaving. They turned round as they got to the door and Asami spoke. “We love you Mako. We loved you romantically and now we love you as friends. You have to love yourself enough to realise that he’ll love you too.”

“Have a good time.” Mako replied before hacking up more bloody mush.

\---

The next morning a letter was delivered to Mako’s room written in a tidy, curved script.

‘To my dearest, Mako.  
I regret to inform you that I’ve had to return to the Earth Kingdom in the early hours of this morning to attend to some matters. I was due to leave in a few days and had hoped to say goodbye to you but unfortunately kingly duty awaits so a letter shall have to do.  
Mainly I wanted to say thank you. Ever since you came into my life it has changed, mainly for the better. Before I met you everybody tiptoed around me on tenterhooks because I was the Prince. But you treated me like a real person and were honest with me - for once in my life - and I fully believe you’ve made me a better king, and a better person.  
Words cannot express how much you mean to me, big guy, and I hope that you find a way to beat this disease and in a way that makes you happy. After everything you’ve gone through you deserve to be happy, and you deserve someone who makes you happy. If I were who you were in love with it would kill me to know I’m killing you if there was a chance I couldn’t be. I’m not pressuring you to confess, but you could. You deserve someone who loves you.  
I’ll miss you from Ba Sing Se. I know I’ve not been the easiest person to be around and if you never want to see me again I completely understand. That being said, if you ever want to pop into the palace and say hi when this is all over, feel free. I hope you feel better soon.  
Yours truly, King Wu.

Mako was overtaken with the most painful coughing fit he had ever faced. It felt like knives were being dragged down the back of his throat and his lungs felt like they were on fire. He’d once tried to breathe fire, it had hurt like hell. This was worse. 

He spat out a single flower.

It was a fully formed cherry blossom. Pink, five petals, little stigmas that stood delicately yet proudly. It was beautiful, really, the colour of an innocent blush and without a splash of the sticky crimson that Mako had become accustomed to in the last few days. 

It was a surefire sign of death but he’d rarely seen something so perfect.

Wu’s words had stuck deep. He’d complemented Mako on his honesty - Mako was planning on being anything but honest about his feelings for Wu. He’d told Mako that he wanted him to find happiness, and more than that- that he deserved it. Everyone had been telling Mako he deserved happiness recently. It would be annoying if it didn’t strike such a chord. Maybe Korra and Asami had a point, saying he’d always put himself second best. He’d thought that had just been how the world worked, but maybe it had just been how his world worked. The more he thought about it the more it stung. 

Maybe he did deserve a moment of happiness. He was still convinced that Wu would never love him back but the act of saying it … maybe it would be a good second place to what he could never have. It would mean dying, but he’d fulfil that selfish act of happiness that Korra and Asami and to a certain extent Wu, were talking about. Bolin would be fine: he had a girlfriend, a support system of his friends and Varrick, a job. Republic City would be fine: it had Korra and Beifong. 

He would die, but everything would be okay.

Mako was supposed to call the Doctor. Instead he wrote a note to Beifong asking her to pass on goodbye messages to Bolin, Korra, Asami, his family and herself, chugged the entire bottle of hanahaki pain suppressant medicine and staggered towards Ba Sing Se Central on shaky legs.

\---

“Chief Beifong? Phone call from the hospital. It’s about detective Mako.”

“Is this about his surgery? Has he gone in?”

“No, Chief. He’s gone. Vanished.”

“...Shit.”


	4. A fire lily petal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako confronts Wu in Ba Sing Se with a concerned Beifong by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - this chapter goes a bit heavy on the blood/ gore and both boys (mostly Mako) have some pretty self depreciating and brief hopeless thoughts. Mako also drinks some medicine and gets a bit high but it's not detailed.

At the time running away to Ba Sing Se with a limited amount of time left and a cherry blossom tree basically growing in his chest was a good idea. Well, not a good idea. But an achievable one. 

Mako was starting to rethink that. 

Thinking was probably a stretch. Between the blood loss and the medicine fucking up his brain the world was a blurry mess of sloping pavements and bloody flowers. He tripped along the streets, pale as a ghost, face and clothes muttered with the blood that was steadily dripping out of his mouth, sometimes accompanied by a beautiful but drenched cherry blossom. Dressed in his white hospital gown, deathly pale, bone skinny and rambling Mako was surprised no one had tried to call him a zombie. He had seen several people scream at the site of him and a mother had pulled her child into a bar just to avoid him. 

Because of the medicine he’d chugged Mako was half high out of his mind. Not in the sense that he was hallucinating, he hadn’t been on the cactus juice, but everything possessed a floaty, dreamlike quality. It had reduced the pain from a sharp stab and scratch to a dull throb and nothing seemed real, more like he was stumbling through the spirit world instead of downtown Republic City. 

He thought there was a chance he was hallucinating when he looked up and staring him directly down was Beifong, arms folded, wearing the biggest scowl he’d ever seen. On her, that was impressive. The only reason he knew she was real was because he staggered into her arms, legs with the consistency of jelly. “What the hell do you think you’ve been doing? Running away from your hospital bed? Leaving some half legible goodbye note? You’ve drank enough medicine to knock you half out of your mind!”

“Have to get to Ba Sing Se.” Mako panted, trying to push himself out of Beifong’s arms. They slid like he was on ice. “Have to, have… Have to get to Wu…”

Lin twitched. A smirk broke out on her lips. “Come on kid. We’re losing time.”

Then Lin was hauling him to his feet and into a police satomobile. The meds finally fully caught up to his head. Time went fluid. 

The next thing he knew he was vomiting in the corner of a cart of a cushy Republic City train, half actual vomit and bile and half flowers and blood. Everything hurt, including his head and his chest and his limbs felt less like jelly and more like the shaky legs of a new-born. His whole body shuddered and the pain sharpened everything, the bright orange lights, the sound of the train chugging along, the bright crimson of the blood and the soft pink of the petals. He slowly edged away and leaned up against the wall, head in his hands.

“You did a stupid thing, kid.” Lin perched next to Mako, her back also pressed against the wall. She looked tired and stressed, but not angry. “You are doing the right thing, but it would be nice if you’d decided to do it before you were in mortal peril, though.”

“You win some, you lose some.” He choked. “Actually I think this is going to just be a loss. But, you know, it’s worth a try.”

Lin handed him a bottle of medicine. “Take some of this. It should help with the pain and slow down some of the flowers. And don’t drink it all this time - you didn’t overdose but you did get yourself high enough to make getting you on this train a living hell.”

“Where are we going?”

“Ba Sing Se, like you wanted. How much do you actually remember?”

“Uh, everything up until I fell on you.” 

Lin snorted a laugh. “So I’m sitting at my desk, trying to solve a robbery when I get a message from the hospital because I’m somehow your ‘emergency contact’ saying you’ve disappeared and left a note saying you’re going to confess, and a fully formed cherry blossom flower on your bed. Then we get about 7 calls, all from different people, calling about some dead kid staggering about on the streets, spewing blood and scaring citizens. I arrive and of course it’s my best detective, who then collapses into my arms and begins babbling about going to Ba Sing Se to confess to the King who’s left his hip for the first time in three flameo years, and of course I wasn’t going to say no, even if this is stupid and dangerous. I’d be absolutely fuming if the whole situation wasn’t so ridiculous it’s funny.”

Mako chuckled. Then he coughed out some flowers and took the correct dose of the pain and flower suppressants. They wouldn’t do that much for him in the long run but for that second they took the edge off and everything was a little more manageable. 

“We’re about an hour out from Ba Sing Se. Once the meds have kicked in go and get changed - I brought the spare clothes you had in the hospital. You can’t greet Wu in a bloody hospital gown.”

“Thanks, Chief.”

“We’re off duty, kid. Call me Lin.”

Once Mako’s limbs had stopped shaking he grabbed the clothes from Lin’s satchel and headed to the bathroom in the compartment. Lin had brought them both first class tickets so they’d have a well equipped compartment with total privacy, with the excuse that ‘your kingly boyfriend can cover it’. Mako had replied “You do understand I’m going to die, right?”

Lin laughed like she didn’t believe him. “Sure. Then I’ll guilt trip him into covering the costs instead.” Mako scowled.

The bathroom was small and well decorated, with a marble sink and a clean toilet that lacked the sharp stench of the public loos on the working class areas of the train. It was small enough that every time Mako stumbled he could reach a wall to steady himself. It was sort of nice to spew into a toilet instead of the floor, or the metal hospital bin that had slowly begun to stink even if it had been emptied every day. 

He slowly got changed, discarding his bloody hospital robes and putting on an outfit that was more in line with what he usually wore. He swilled his mouth out with water, even if in the grand scheme of things it didn’t exactly matter and he was still bringing up bits and pieces of plant. He went to run some water through his hair to style it despite its slick greasiness from being unwashed in the hospital, and against his better judgment looked in the small, faintly lit mirror.

Under the yellow lights he seemed especially palid, his skin taking on a meagre yellow sheen. It was pale enough to look like tissue paper stretched thinly to cover his face. Mako had always had prominent, pointy features but now he looked like a skeleton, so thin from all the difficulty eating that his skin hugged his frame like a wet cloth over washing. The clothes barely fit. His hair and the bags under his eyes seemed as black as an abyss against his skin, as well as the shadows that sprouted from all the new angles of Mako’s body that had grown as he’d gotten thinner. The only colour he had were his eyes, which seemed dim and dull, the desaturated red from his messed up arm, and the dried blood that crusted his lips. It stood in stark contrast to the sallow white skin, a deep seductive red that would be regal if it wasn’t an omen. 

Mako had never looked this bad, not even when his parents had died and he was living on the streets, or the innumerable times he’d gotten himself into trouble and had to fight his way out. Mako had always had his inner fire burning within him, his chi swirling and glowing like a battery to keep him going. Now the fire had dwindled and only a specific type of kindling would let it burn again - a type of kindling Mako would never get.

Because why would Wu ever love him? Why, when Mako looked like a ghost. When he pushed himself to the limit and did stupid things like run off to Ba Sing Se to confess. When he couldn’t be anything like the rubies and gold Wu coveted, Wu deserved.

‘it would kill me to know I’m killing you’

Mako’s stomach flipped. He expelled a flow of blood and flowers that splattered against the mirror and left drips and petals against the glass, washing the spectre Mako saw in the mirror in crimson and pink. He saw the face, a face he’d be remiss to recognise as his own at the beginning of this ideal, wince in pain as something pressed into his lung. He yelped, doubling over and clutching his chest. The pain flared within him, his scream only marred by a gorge of flowers and blood that erupted out of his mouth, a perverted waterfall. Some of it landed in the stink but it began to drip down onto his top and trousers, staining the fabric and blossoming like the flowers that were growing within him. 

He evacuated the bathroom, not able to stand the hot metallic smell. It made his head dizzy. He snatched the medicine off of the side and took a desperate swig, trying to ignore the pain. Lin was up, trying to steady him, but he pushed her away half heartedly. He’d vomited so hard his eyes were blinking tears, or maybe that was from the pain. He couldn’t tell. 

“Hang in kid.” Lin grunted, helping him up. “The doctor said this wasn’t sustainable and the medicine would stop working. We’ll get you to him. We’re nearly at Ba Sing Se.”

“What’s the point.” Mako muttered before wincing and folding in on himself.

Lin’s face steeled. “Don’t you dare say that, kid. We’re going to save your life.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“Don’t you dare.” She snapped. “Just don’t.”

Mako vomited blood on Lin’s shoes.

\---

For the fifth time in an hour, Wu looked out of the windows, saw the cherry blossom trees, and his heart wept. 

He’d been called to the Earth Kingdom after a massive argument had broken out within the newly reassembled court about trade routes, ownership and bandits and how best to deal with it, especially now that Kuvira was gone and his authority was needed to stop a civil war from sparking in the already fragile Earth Kingdom. Authority felt weird. It hadn’t been too long ago that Wu hadn’t been entrusted with the ability to pee by himself. Now he was trusted to decide what the best plan was to avoid the country from descending into chaos. 

The court had been made aware of his decision to abdicate (to varying degrees of happiness) but that had been put aside for the moment as temporary legislature was needed to be passed before the Kingdom crumbled and died before the process of abdication had even begun. Abdication was a bit of a strong word too. The monarchy was sort of being abolished, or it’s power was being reduced. Any states that wished to stay under imperial rule would be allowed to, but that would be dictated by votes in a democratic system like the United Forces and not the cruelty of his Aunt that dictated his childhood.

He’d meant well when choosing to abdicate, honestly. It was the right course and he’d known it from the start and it had legitimately been motivated from a place of surprising wisdom and care for his country. There was something else, though. 

It had occurred the night at the wedding. Wu had been talking to Avatar Korra, discussing the abdication and everything they’d done against Kuvira. It was a sweet moment and his heart had twinged watching Korra as she moved. He wasn’t that stupid, he’d figured out that Korra was the most likely candidate for the person Mako was in love with and as she left he felt something snap at the thought of Mako, who deserved so much, being left behind by a girl he’d come so close to having. Of course he was happy for her and Asami and he felt incredibly foolish for flirting with either of them, but he imagined how sad and lonely Mako must have been, trapped in his hospital bed, coughing up flowers. 

Then it had happened. Wu coughed into a lush silk hanky. Resting inside of it was a singular fire lily petal. Red. Unmistakable. 

He pocketed it quickly. Then he was whisked away to the Earth Kingdom and his duties, leaving nothing but a note for Mako, the brave and fearless bodyguard who had a heart of gold under his hard exterior, who was dying. And was causing Wu to die.

He’d known it was hanahaki from that moment. It had been slightly crushing, yes. But it wasn’t frightening. He’d known Mako was never going to love him back and his sacrifice for Korra had been the final nail in the coffin, it had only been a matter of time. He hoped Mako would either confess and get the surgery quickly and visit Wu in the Earth Kingdom, because soon enough Wu would be getting his own surgery and that would be it. Part of him was worried that losing his love for Mako would lead to Wu becoming cold and callous like his Aunt but that was too much to think about. He’d had the disease for a day.

It didn’t stop him from gazing out of the window to where the cherry blossoms in the garden swayed in the sunlight. Every time he did an insidious ghost swept over him and he thought about Mako, coughing in bed, waiting for the disease to nearly kill him so he could cut it out of his life, as well as the person Mako loved. Every time Wu did so he swallowed down a petal and put on his best PR smile and tried to placate the warring Sages.

“I’m just saying, Kuvira had a point. The bullet train is an efficient way to transport goods around the country.” 

“We’re not arguing with that. What I have an issue with is the plan to build a rail network that we just can’t finance through many special areas such as the swamp and the desert. You’d eradicate several small towns.”

The Sages had been going in circles all day and had finally settled on using the bullet train to bring supplies to the different states and build up their economic stability before abdication. The issue now arose on how to expand the rail network with as little damage to the Kingdom as possible. The emergency had been averted but there were arguments to be had and choices to be made, and none of them were fun.

In a stroke of Mako inspired dry humour he thought ‘maybe I should just let the disease kill me. I could avoid these obnoxiously dull meetings if I were dead’.

Then the commotion in the garden happened.

Several servants and officials came charging across the lawn (a lawn his Aunt would scold him for running on). From the direction they disappeared to rushed a group of soldiers, spears in hand. Wu held a hand up to silence the court and stood on one of the ancient, expensive tables, and tried to get a proper look out of the window. “What’s going on?” He asked. An ugly voice in the back of his head growled ‘congratulations, this is your first proper day on the job and you haven’t even solved a trade issue before getting assassinated’.

One of the guards rushed back into view with blood covering his hands, mixed with the flowers that grew gently in the trees. He vanished from view again but then was appearing at the doorway of the hall, horror contorting his features. “Your highness. The Chief of the Republic City Police Force is here. She’s carrying some…” His face crumpled. “Some spirit forsaken dead kid. They’re covered in blood. She’s asking for you. Well commanding you, really.”

“Dead?” Wu murmured.

“Probably.” The guard answered. “He took one look at the guards and vomited up the most blood I’ve ever seen, then passed out.” 

“Get rid of him.” One of the Sages said dismissively, like the issue was a mere flytic in his broth. 

Wu was glued to the spot. His heart was rumbling. The flowers were trying to slip up his throat. 

“Okay, but- there's something weird. In the blood there was something. Cherry Blossom flowers.”

Wu paled. His eyes widened. He coughed up a handful of fire lily leaves onto the fancy table. The Sages all gasped and exchanged panicked glances at him but Wu ignored them, stumbling on possessed legs towards the door. “We’ll pick this up tomorrow.” He spoke to the air before staring down at the guard. “Take me to him.”

The guard nodded and they hurried into the garden, the insidious shadow that had been rising over Wu casting darkness over the beautiful landscape. Lin was kneeling on the grass, a skinny body, the bottom half of it drenched in blood and mangled flowers, flopped over her arm like a doll. His fingers were loose and limp and his head was down so Wu couldn’t see his face, but Wu could detail how every inch of Mako’s body was desaturated and fading. 

“Mako?” Wu asked, his voice cracking. None of this made sense. Mako was in Republic City, patiently waiting for his surgery, committed, not on the edge of death on some well trimmed lawn in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. 

Lin looked up morosely and layed Mako out on the grass. Wu nearly fainted. Mako had been bad before but now he looked like a ghost, his face battered and sullen. His expression was pained and still. Wu let himself fall onto the grass and spit a flower to the side (the action not unnoticed by Lin, who looked even more upset). “Is he alive?” Wu murmured.

“Just.” 

Wu nearly sobbed in relief and knelt over Mako’s body, half pulling him onto his lap. “Hey big guy. What are you doing here?”

\---

“Hey big guy. What are you doing here?” 

Mako slowly opened his eyes and let the light filter in. His chest was on fire and his throat was worse, the air only just making it past all the blood and foliage. The darkness and pain had been all consuming and seductive, and after he’d thrown up his insides on the grass he’d figured that was it. He was too late.

Then he heard the voice. 

Wu was staring up at him, blocking out the sun and the ominous cherry blossoms that decorated the garden. He looked devastated, features all soft as he took Mako in, hurt glinting in his eyes. One hand brushed over Mako’s cheekbone softly, where the other came to grasp his shaking hand. “Mako? Are you with me?”

“Hey.” Mako smiled. “You look nice.”

Wu’s voice was strained when he replied. “What are you doing here? Surely you should be in surgery if it’s this bad.”

“No, I’m-” He coughed, a splatter of blood shooting out of his mouth. “-pretty much dying.” 

“Why are you here, then?!”

“Because you’re here.” He said, like it solved everything. His breathing was shallow and his voice was barely perceptible. It was the weakest Wu had ever seen him and that in itself was terrifying, but not quite as terrifying as the way every breath seemed to be smaller and weaker than the last. “It’s okay if you’re here.”

“It’s not okay!” Wu snapped. “Stop saying it’s okay! It’s not okay! It’ll never be okay if you’re gone!”

“It is.” He smiled again. He gazed into Wu’s crying eyes, noting every freckle of green and committing it to memory. The world was beginning to close in around them, the pain in Mako’s chest beginning to dampen and his breaths jagged, like he was scraping the air over a bed of nails. “It is… because I… I lo-”

Something closed up in his throat and suddenly Mako couldn’t breath, or squeeze our words. He sat up, trying to cough and clear his airways and whimper out the rest of his sentence. He hadn’t said it. He was too late. He hadn’t said it. He wasn’t ready. His lungs were burning. His head was beginning to burn. He could hear the blood running in his ears. Darkness was growing at the corner of his eyes, folding in so he could only see Wu’s face.

Wu leaned forwards and wrapped Mako in a hug, pressing him against his chest as he thrashed. Wu was crying, burbling out words desperately in his ear. Everything around Mako shut down. His eyes focused on the soft pink of the cherry blossom trees. As everything went dark he heard Wu’s cries in his ears.

“Don’t go, please! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you.”

\---

Mako’s body stilled. There was a painful second of silence. Wu slowly lowered Mako to the floor. He met Lin’s eyes. She looked guilty. There were red tear tracks down her cheeks.

The air was suddenly alive and Mako was up and on his hands and knees, ejecting a bloody mess of flowers and twigs and spindly branches. The sounds he made were like nails on a chalkboard, painful and broken. He was vomiting for a good few minutes, first a pressured jet and petering out into smaller mouthfuls of braken and blood. It smelt like rotting flesh and wet leaves. 

He had the same quivering limbs as he had when he’d chucked up the medicine on the train but he was smiling, bemused with what could be relief. 

Lin and Wu looked bewildered. Lin spoke first, tentatively. “You were dead.”

“You love me.” He smiled, focused on Wu. 

“Of course, big guy. But, uh- what happened? Not that I’m not grateful you’re not dead.”

Mako tilted his head to the side, wiped the blood from his mouth, and beamed. “Well Hanahaki’s cured when the person you’re in love with loves you back and you know it, right?”

“Yeah. I know that.” Wu said, his eyes darting between Mako, the mess he’d coughed up, and the singular fire lily petal he’d spat out. He could feel another one trying to escape his throat but he was forcing it down. “So that means?”

Mako laughed and shook his head. “Spirits, you really do have no common sense.”

Wu pouted. 

“I love you too, Wu.”

Wu wanted to grin and cheer but instead he doubled over and spat out a few clumps of fire lily petals, as well as some greenery. Lin looked between them and rolled her eyes. “Spirits, you both had it? For each other? Let me guess:” she narrowed her eyes at the king “you were going to be too stubborn to confess as well.”

Both men scowled at her before breaking into a laugh. They were light and airy with relief and love. Beifong shook her head. “I don’t know why I even try.” She reached out and patted both men on the shoulder awkwardly. “I’m glad you’re alright. Both of you. Next time, just confess. It’ll save me a lot of trouble.” 

“Thanks Lin.” Mako smiled. 

“Whatever.” She grumbled before getting to her feet, a small smirk on her lips. She ushered away the crowd that had gathered around the area, giving the men some privacy. 

“So.” Wu laughed. “You had a crush on me, huh? That’s really embarrassing for you.”

“Shut up.” Mako gingerly elbowed Wu in the side. His chest still ached and he was pretty sure his lungs were still cut up, as was his throat, but the joy he was feeling was enough of a painkiller. For once in his life he let everything go and flopped down on the grass, staring into the sky. Wu dropped down next to him, grasping Mako’s bony hand with every bit of will he had. “I got your letter.”

“Sorry I wasn’t there to give it in person. We probably would have saved ourselves a lot of trouble.”

“Probably.” Mako reached over and kissed Wu on the cheek, pretending not to notice how he flushed under the attention. “I would go for the lips, but-”

“You should at least swill your mouth out.” Wu chuckled. Then he glanced out at the garden, at the cherry blossom trees and sighed. “You know, I think I’m going to get the garden remodeled.”

“Why?”

“I’m sick of cherry blossoms.”

Mako rolled over and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I never thought I'd write anything this angsty but then suddenly I was exploring Mako's trauma again and shoehorning in everyone's favourite milf, chief Beifong. I hope you enjoyed reading this! All comments and Kudos's have been massively appreciated :)

**Author's Note:**

> So,, I'm back on my bullshit writing Wuko fanfiction.  
> This pair just has so many opportunities good tropes. Emotionless guard vs sunshine child prince? Check. Pining? Check. Obliviousness? Check. The Mako's unexplored angst in the show practically writes itself.  
> (Also I searched hanahaki on a whim, read 1 (1!) fic and got obsessed)(help)  
> Hope you enjoy!


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